one of my favorite things about fandom is that the exchange of intellectual and creative property is a legitimate form of gift giving. like ‘i’m so enchanted by you, i love you, let me tell you a story’
I can do my best for you anon!
Not that I can do much to advise after the fact, let me say that it’s totally normal to not enjoy sex. Not everyone likes it, and that’s fine. It was your first time and you were obviously nervous and tense about it, and that will definitely detract from the pleasure factor of sex. Or, maybe you just plain don’t have any desire to have sex. I’m very sorry that you had a bad experience either way.
I will say, though, that it’s not good that you had sex even though you were uncomfortable. If at any time before, during, or after sex you feel uneasy and that you no longer want to have sex, it is your absolute right to say so and stop what’s happening. I know it can be kind of awkward piping up in the middle of all that, but it’s not as bad as doing something you’re not 150% on board with.
If you ever decide to have sex again, make sure you talk to the other person if you’re feeling nervous or uncomfortable and unprepared. If they’re a good person, than they’re going to be more than willing to listen and figure out a way for the both of you to have a good time when both of you are ready. And if they don’t listen, then they don’t deserve to have sex with you or anyone else to be honest.
Also, you can still have sex with someone and still be asexual. I’m still learning about asexuality, but I do know that there isn’t a cut and dry definition when it comes to labeling yourself. Some asexuals feel no arousal or sexual attraction at all, others become aroused but have no desire to share that arousal with other people, and still others feel some on rare occasions. You are the only person who can decide whether you’re asexual or not, but one experience does not define you either way.
You are you, anon. I think that before you can define yourself or have sex again with anyone, you need to think about what you’re comfortable with - physically and emotionally - and who you’d be comfortable with. Because you’re an awesome person, and you deserve to have good sex and enjoy it, or to have no sex and feel comfortable expressing that.
WHEN MICKEY REALIZES HE CAN KISS IAN AT THE CLUB WITHOUT ANYONE LIKE, ~KNOWING OR JUDGING OR CARING
I’M GONNA JUMP INTO A VOLCANO
Zachary is basically all of us.
The reason you’re not supposed to open a condom with your teeth is because doing so could cause the condom to tear while still inside the wrapper. Condoms aren’t fragile, but they’re not indestructible, and it’s better to just be on the safe side.
When you read about it in fics and stuff, it’s mostly just for ~show, if you know what I mean. Wow, Character A is so ready to have sex with Character B that they’re just going to shred that wrapper with their teeth so the condom can get on faster. Yeah it’s pretty hot, but not something you really want to do in real life.
That’s all there really is to it, dear! Here’s some more info on condoms for real life, if you want to learn a little more about the do’s and don’t of condom usage.
Hmmm, I’l answer one from each ~section then, how about that?
9. What’s the longest fic you’ve ever read?
Ummm probably Leave No Soul Behind, that shit was monstrously long but amazing.
13. Has a fic ever made you cry?
Omg yes okay and it’s kind of weird because the first fic that made me really really sob was a D/s fic ahaha. It was a Klaine fic, and they were just dipping their toes in the water, but they hadn’t really properly talked out exactly what they wanted from each other. So Kurt (Dom) was saying things that genuinely upset Blaine (sub) because he didn’t know and it got to the point where Blaine had to safeword because he was so distraught and I was like, sobbing over the entire thing it was dreadful.
21. How and when did you get introduced to smut fic? Any horror stories?
Well, my introduction was definitely back in the Harry Potter days, because that was my first ~foray into fandom in any way. I don’t recall what the fic was exactly, but I’m pretty sure it was Hermione/One of the Twins. Not so many horror stories (unless you want to count that weird vore phase Glee fandom went through) but I can’t help but cringe at all the lubeless/terrible lube idea fics that still crop up.
32. Favorite AU tropes?
It really depends on the fandom, honestly. Like HP, I was never really into AUs at all for anything. For Glee I wanted every single AU I could get my hands on: Bad Boy, Fantasy, Superhero, Historical, Horror, Movie. For SPN, I really love High School and normal life AUs. Teen Wolf I’ll take any AU as long as there are still werewolves involved, I don’t really care for normal life AUs there. And Star Trek, I like most AUs as long as Spock is still a Vulcan, I don’t want him human basically ever.
44: How fluffy is too fluffy?
If I can’t read a fic without tabbing out every five minutes because the characters would never in a million years act this way with each other, it’s too goddamn fluffy.